Martza Majstoravich

I had to revise my list thanks to Michael Vick being ousted. 

11) Paul Newman as the figurehead for Caesar salad dressing.

10) Ricky Watters (since 1994)

9) Robert Shaw- Quint from Jaws (damn, he died when I was 3- oh well, stays on the list)

James Belushi (from “The Principal”)

7) Vince Young (if he was older or I was younger)

6) Jack Nicholson (preferably “One Flew Over the Cuckcoo’s Nest” since I like the bad boys)

5) James Caan

4) Robert DeNiro- any age

3) Russell Crowe (in that Gladiator outfit- HOTT)

2) Gerard Butler (300, Phantom, Timeline, Reign of Fire) (MEOW)

1) ?????????

Made an expensive phone call. (Two actually- it was worth it.)

Swam 1/2 mile.

Cleaned my apartment.

Cleaned Haiku’s cage.

Shaved Willie.

Damn…. I thought I had issues.

 Unless you have taken ANY kind of law school essay, you won’t be able to relate.

I sat around for about two hours after the Labor Law exam wondering what the hell happened to me (then I had to study for Sports Law). 3 HOURS GOES BY QUICK when you have a gazillion issues on which to write. I thought my fingers were bleeding at one point from typing, but I didn’t have time to look down.

This was also the first exam I have been in where only one person finished before the time was up. And I swear I heard her say, “Fuck it, I’ll take a C.”

Me, however. I couldn’t yank the starters off the field. No special teams, no punting. If we could, we tried to run the score up on the essay. I might have been on point; I don’t know. (Then my computer wouldn’t upload the essay. I almost started crying. I thought I would have to retype it. As I found out I typed 15 pages.)

I woke up this morning at 4:37 am in a cold sweat wondering, “Did I GD mention the rockthrowing in my essay?”

Yes, there was rock throwing. There were all kinds of things going on. GD scabs, crossing the picket line. LOL

Situated in Celebration, Florida, Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory has been family-owned and operated since 1958. During this time, Willy has been the sole proprietor. In 1988, Willy decided to employ Oompa Loompas to help with his candy-making. The Oompas wanted to leave their native land where Snozzwanglers were threatening their small villages. Willy offered to pay the Oompas in cocoa nuts, and each Oompa signed a contract agreeing, among other things, to arbitrate any disputes which arose as well as 30 days notice to terminate employment.

Willie placed some Oompas in charge of maintaining the equipment, while others worked the line. He also had Oompas inspecting the product before it was packaged.

Although the work at times was tedious, the Oompas were very content. However, in 2007, when Willy opened his doors to the public, the Oompas got a taste of the outside world. They began to realize what they were missing. Many of them, although they loved the taste of chocolate began to long for such necessities like a Nintendo wii. The Oompas decided to ask for a raise. They selected one Oompa, Woompa, to represent them. Woompa scheduled a meeting with Willy.

The meeting did not go as well as Woompa hoped. Willy was enraged with the ingratitude shown by this request. He threw Woompa out of his office immediately. Woompa relayed the news to his fellow co-workers that there would be no “Bust-a-Move Bash” that Christmas.

Word of the Oompas’ disappointment spread throughout town. As a result, a representative for the United Candy Workers, (“UCW”), began soliciting the factory premises by the entrance gates. The representative passed out free paraphernalia and handbills explaining the benefits of joining the Union.

It did not take long for the representative to convince many of the Oompas to sign authorization cards. The following week, the UCW approached Willy and announced they had a card-based majority. Willy refused to accept this allegation and had the representative escorted from the premises. As a result, the UCW petitioned the NLRB for an election. The election was granted.

Prior to the election, Willy announced a mandatory meeting for the Oompas. He explained during the meeting that many other candy factories had closed after unionization due to the higher salaries requested. Willy said, “It would be a shame to send you back to OompaLoompaLand where the nasty Snozzwanglers prey on your vulnerable young.” The Oompas were frightened when they remembered the country fraught with danger that they left behind. They did not want to return, nor did they want their children to experience the terror of the whangdoodles, another breed of carnivorous beast. After the meeting, the Oompas discussed the pros and cons of unionization. Many decided to vote against it.

The following day, the Oompas cast their votes. The UCW was elected as the exclusive bargaining representative of the Oompas.

The UCW and Mr. Wonka began negotiations towards a collective bargaining agreement. The UCW demanded that all workers join the union within 30 days of being hired, and current employees have 30 days to join as well. Willy agreed to this demand.

During negotiations, one area in which Willy refused to bargain concerns the Oompas’ wages. As a result, the Union called a strike against Willy. The following day, one-third of Willy’s Oompas picketed in front of his factory. As a result of the picketing, one truckdriver refused to deliver Willy’s cacao nuts.

In order to mitigate the damages from losing one-third of his employees, Willy hired replacement workers. After 32 days, the Union decided to agree to Willy’s wages for the Oompas. Part of the negotiations included rehiring the struck workers; however, Willie refused to reinstate them. 

For the sake of argument, assume the Oompa Loompas are people and US citizens. Discuss any legal issues as they arise in this fact pattern.

If you have seen any of the following socks, please leave a comment on this site giving the location and time of its last sighting.

(Left to right: brown ankle sock MIA since 1987, footie with lime cottonball accent MIA since 2005, pink footie with silver embroidery MIA since 2003, Nike footie MIA since 1999, and pink piglet footie MIA since 2001.)

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

(Yeah, that’s right. I have two exams next week…)

You know what sucks? (Besides people coming to this thinking it is about porn because “sucks” is in the title) What sucks is it will take me 80 years as a middle school teacher in NC to pay off the loan I accumulated in just my first year of law school.

I got the speech I might not be cut out for law school after my first semester in which I bombed Civ Pro. I made an appointment to meet with the professor to see what I got wrong (which was, apparently, everything). I thought I did all right after the exam, so when I got the grade I knew I had some work to do. Anywho, I think he assumed I wanted to meet with him in order to determine whether he made a mistake when grading my exam. Nope. I seriously thought I did better, which means I don’t have a clue obviously. While I got the speech, I realized that a few years ago, I may have broken out into tears. However, he didn’t know he was talking to someone who got cussed out on a regular basis. He also informed me it wasn’t a life or death thing. What does he know? If this gig didn’t work out, I wouldn’t be having much of a life trying to pay off this debt as a teacher. I didn’t have much of a life before- couldn’t afford one.

That sucks.

What also sucks are the nights after Property where I would go and study with one of my friends for two hours or so and everyone else would go to one of the local bars. And I got a C on the exam. Bottom third of the class.

That sucks.

Upon review, I would have to admit it is refreshing to have professors who take the time to work with students. For example, last semester my Contracts professor (See Congratulations, Professor Lacy!) reviewed at least four of my practice essays. He took the time to meet with my study partner and me even though we were in a class of 90 students. Getting into Sports Law was probably one of the best things which has happened to me in law school. Damn, I love this class. It’s amazing how much coaching middle school taught me when I read cases in this class. Our professor is excellent too. (See comments below.) Labor Law has been awesome. Professor O’Gorman has a great sense of humor and knew how to lighten things up if need be. Overall, summer school has been a lot of fun, and I feel like I have learned a lot. I just hope I can show this on the exam. LOL

Footage from the recent gas station hold-up on West Colonial.

Don’t let the door hit you on ya’ass.

Looks like a potential lawsuit. Assumption of the risk.

Benjamin Bratt’s screen test from back in the day.

Biofuel my ass. Looks like chemical explosives.

This guy looks like John Ritter.

I don’t give a crap about sand running dry! I wish I could see some sand, damn. They don’t have any in the freakin’ law library!