Michael Vick, You are OFF the List
I cannot express how extremely disappointed I am in Michael Vick. All my students knew how much I liked him- one even made me a collage last year. And I will be honest, I jumped on the bandwagon after the 2000 Sugar Bowl. I liked Vick’s heart, and I am always a sucker for a quarterback who runs.
NOW- he is off my list. He wouldn’t stand a chance with me now.
I don’t know which thing bothers me more: the dog fights or the manner in which you disposed of them. It is almost like you got off torturing them. And isn’t that how psychopaths start out? Torturing animals? And by denying the charges about the dog fighting when they first came out makes you a LIAR and a killer.
You know, I just realized something… YOU DID LOSE THE 2000 SUGAR BOWL and every other play-off game where you choked…
I will pray for your soul, but, a warning, God will not be too pleased with these activites.
“The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD -
3 and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
or decide by what he hears with his ears;
4 but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.
5 Righteousness will be his belt
and faithfulness the sash around his waist.
6 The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling [a] together;
and a little child will lead them.”
(See Bible Gateway, New International Version)
Random Thoughts (If they even qualify as that)
I think my dove is stuck in the “on” position.
The cereal was the reason I got out of bed this morning.
I wonder if any of my students wake up in a cold sweat, glad they are no longer in my class?
I try not to make eye contact with that person in the mirror.
Is my name strange? Or is it me?
Can I get credit for my gangsign for Lexis? Is that covered under the contract?
If I was a real dog, I would take the “one-bite” rule very seriously.
Why do I watch Blue Streak every time it comes on?
What I Miss About Football
I miss…
riding the five-man sled.
spitting sunflower seeds on people.
4-4 defense with stunting SAFETIES.
my assistant coaches.
up-downs.
supermans in the mud.
concocting some unlikely remedy for fire ant bites, such as potash and rubbing alcohol.
tutoring a player in study hall, looking up, and catching other players paying attention.
sneezing from cut grass.
referees saying, “Oh, we know who you are.”
not knowing if cheerleaders actually attended the games.
Michael running sweep right behind a pulling guard for a touchdown.
watching Josh run and turning a busted play into a touchdown.
families who don’t cuss me out.
wondering if my parents will show up for the game.
watching SV kicking it deep.
seeing the defense hold em.
players who come to me when they get in trouble.
seeing the offense not hold em.
Jonathan busting up the play.
seeing “Cookie” throw-up. (I know. Damn the blue slushees.)
going to Bojangle’s after the game and the players cleaning up after themselves and other people.
all my teams.
Product Endorsements- Free
Victor Sinclair’s Bohemian: Sweet finish, tightly packed.
Annie’s Organic Goddess Salad Dressing: This dressing makes you want to get more lettuce so it doesn’t go to waste.
Arizona Diet Ginseng Green Tea: Addicting
Sarasa Medium Point Pens: Smooth
Lexisnexis: Can handle all your researching needs
Sine-Off: Works.
Jim Beam flavored barbeque sunflower seeds: Eat them if you want to drink all the fluids you bought at the grocery store. (See “32 Things…”)
Self-Preservation
Sometimes to protect my fragile ego:
I pretend the professor made a mathematical error- even though he went to Harvard.
That my clothes really weigh 10 pounds.
The guy was gay, and that’s why he didn’t want to have anything to do with me.
That Haiku (my Dove) and I do magic tricks together.
That I buy Cosmo for the fashion articles. (WHAT FASHION ARTICLES???)
The Steelers offensive line is the best.
The motorcycle accident is the only hit Big Ben had this past year.
I am not allergic to grass.
Right is really the other left.
Updated Life as I (No Longer) Know It
Background: My whole world changed when I came to law school. I gambled. I had a tenured position as a teacher, a mortgage, a respected reputation, a retirement plan… wait a second, this is starting to sound depressing. I moved from NC to FL. I had to dispose, give away, sell, store 3/4 of my earthly possessions. (My apartment is small– not that I can cook from the toilet or anything- but it is half the size of my ex-house).
Promissory Estoppel: Still love it.
Adverse Possession: I gave up on trying to get AP of the library. I am still working on the Faculty building though.
TV: WHEN IS NIP/TUCK COMING BACK ON???
Pets: My pets look unkempt and unloved. They still hate me. Even the sweet innocent little dove. COO.
Gym: I’ve decided to stop listening to CDs and instead I read Labor Law on the elliptical.
Tanning: Since I no longer have torts, although I do commit them from time to time, I don’t listen to PMBR anymore. Instead I sleep, jerk myself awake, smack my head on the glass since I forgot where I am.
Family: I have been trying to be better about calling.
LexisNexis: I will be a new student associate. Looking forward to it. I already came up with a gang sign for Lexis. Gotta represent.
AALSA: I am the new president of the Asian-American Law Student Association. I am already thinking about recruiting methods. Let me know if you have any suggestions.
Men: Love them. Most of them anyway. The man who can tell me what position Vince Lombardi played will be the man I hope to marry.
Football: Steelers fan. Steel looking for an offensive line. Can we borrow the Patriots’s?
Religion: I read my Bible every night, and I pray. I don’t say that to brag- I say it because it is possible to make time for God. God got me here, and every night I am thankful to Him. I love Florida, and I love law school.
Peace, love, and chicken grease.
