Excuses of Willie
In 2004, I adopted Willie, an older poodle with two cataracts. I adopted him because I knew no one else would want a blind dog, and he and Peanut seemed to get along. For Christmas that year, my father paid for him to have surgery to have one cataract removed. Willie was able to see for a few months, but then lost his sight again.
My father, as we were taking out Christmas trash that year, apologized for not being receptive about me adopting him. He didn’t understand why I would want to subject myself to that hurt.
“Daddy, you know when we stop feeling hurt? When we die. Pain makes us appreciate the good things. Someone left Willie on the side of the road. If I can make the last years of his life comfortable, I will be happy.”
No further questions.
Anywho, as a result, I feel as if I have the right to make light of the blindness. (P.S. Someone today asked me what kind of dog he is. A blind one? No, just playing. He did want to know because he thought Willie was cute.)
9. “I am only standing in the corner staring at the wall because I am reenacting the closing scene of the ‘Blair Witch Project.’”
8. ”Excuse me, I thought that was a tree. After all, it is made out of wood.”
7. “I take the road less traveled.” Willie explains as he walks between the couch and the wall.
6. “I was checking out the exhaust system on that car.”
5. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Willie excuses himself as he plops down ontop of Peanut and his duckie pillow.
4. “Why thank you very much, that was my Bodie Miller snowboarding imitation,” says Willie trying to play off sliding off the end of the couch.
3. “I thought the bag of chips was a rabbit hole, sorry.”
2. “I really didn’t see your sandwich on the coffee table. It jumped into my mouth. And I may be blind, but my sense of taste is strong. Yummy.”
1. “Thank God I am blind, I can’t see what unfortunate thing you did to me with the razor.” As Willie says this, Peanut tears around the couch trying to get away, afraid that he is next. Your days are numbered, twerp. LOL
